Caregivers Registry- Raymond writes 2 letters to the press

Yesterday's The New Paper reported 2 deaths in Sengkang- one a wheelchair-bound 56 woman who was found hanged and the other her elder son, 31, who was mentally disabled. Such tragedies will continue if proactive measures are not put in place to save and reclaim lives.


Here are my 2 letters:


(1) Raymond's letter to The New Paper: Set up registry for caregivers


This letter was published in The New Paper on Friday11th March 2011- page 22.

Recently Nominated MP Laurence Wee suggested that the Government consider setting up a registry for caregivers.


I fully support the idea and hope that the Government can implement it as many caregivers are in dire need of support.

Caregivers who undergo tremendous stress in looking after their sick relatives need a voice in Parliament to speak of their plight, and I am encouraged that Mr Wee has had the courage and conviction to do so.


The demands of caregiving can be overwhelming, and people who devote themselves to the unpaid care of a chronically ill or disabled family member certainly could do with more assistance.

Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong also mentioned that more help could be given for caregivers.

If the Government accepts Mr Wee's suggestion of a caregivers registry, it will be easier to identify those who have made sacrifices in caring for their sick relatives and then provide them with the much-needed support.

Caregivers could be given an option of registering at this proposed registry, as some may not want to be identified.

RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO

(2) Raymond's letter to MediaCorp's TODAY Newspaper: Registry makes it easier to help caregivers in need


This letter was published in the online section of MediaCorp's TODAY Newspaper on Monday 7th March 2011.


Recently, Nominated Member of Parliament (NMP) Laurence Wee suggested in Parliament that the Government should consider setting up a registry for caregivers. I fully support Mr Wee's idea and hope that the Government can implement this suggestion as many caregivers are in dire need of support.

The demands of caregiving can be overwhelming and people who devote themselves to the unpaid care of a chronically ill or disabled family member certainly could do with more assistance. Caregiving can take a heavy toll if caregivers don’t get adequate support. I have been in this situation for 37 years.

Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong, in a post-budget 2011 dialogue session with 200 grassroots leaders last month, mentioned that one area which he felt was missing in the Budget was more help for caregivers.

I am glad that both SM Goh Chok Tong and Mr Wee understands our everyday struggles. If the Government the suggestion of a caregivers registry, it will be so much easier to identify those who have made sacrifices in caring for their sick relatives and then provide them with the much-needed support.

Caregivers could be given an option of registering, as some may not want to be identified.
http://www.todayonline.com/Voices/EDC110307-0000379/Registry-makes-it-easier-to-help-caregivers-in-need


RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO


Let us be inspired by what Saint Augustine once said: “What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like”.

Books written by Raymond Anthony Fernando & his wife, Doris Lau Siew Lang

Poetry book: “Poems from the heart” –Author: Raymond Anthony Fernando
"Poems from the heart" has a collection of 68 poems that is written straight from the author’s heart. In this collection of poems, Raymond Anthony Fernando holds court as he leads readers through moments of celebration and desolation, triumph and terror, love and loss.

The book costs $12. All 450 copies of this book have been sold out. However, a reprint of this book will be considered if there is a heavy demand for it.
=====================================================

Poetry book: “Feelings- A collection of heartfelt poems” – Author: Raymond Anthony Fernando
As a sequel to his first collection of poems, "Feelings- A collection of heartfelt poems" is a compilation of Raymond Anthony Fernando’s personal thoughts on life, suffering and happiness. There are 59 heartfelt poems in this book that will move you to tears and even joy.

The book costs $12. All 450 copies of this book have been sold out. However, a reprint of this book will be considered if there is a heavy demand for it.


=====================================================

Novel: “Loving a Schizophrenic” – Author: Raymond Anthony Fernando
"Loving a Schizophrenic" is a true story written by Raymond Anthony Fernando of his wife, Doris Lau who suffers from depression and Schizophrenia. (*The names have been changed to protect the characters in the story from prejudice and discrimination). A heartwarming story of the healing power of love, this book chronicles the trials and tribulations of their courtship and 30-year marriage. The novel also provides an insightful peek into caring for a loved one stricken with mental illness. This is the first time that a caregiver in Singapore has been written such a book and it is intended to raise awareness of mental illness from an Asian perspective.

More than 3,700 copies of this book have been sold in Singapore and it has also be purchased in Japan, Malaysia, Thailand, America, India, Sri Lanka and Taiwan. The book costs $15 and copies are still available.

=====================================================

Humour book: “Mambo Jumbo with Fernando” – Author: Raymond Anthony Fernando
The important message that the author of "Mambo Jumbo with Fernando" conveys to the readers is that laughter is indeed the best medicine, and that ought to be part of everyone’s daily life experience for one to lead a fulfilling life. Infused with inspiration from the author’s early experiences as a student at St. Andrew’s School and later in adult life, the author present a collection of humorous poems, jokes, songs and even cartoons highlighting at times, that there is a real and even deeper wholesome meaning to the funny side of our lives.

The book costs $12. All 450 copies of this humorous book have been sold out. However, a reprint of this book will be considered if there is a heavy demand for it.
=====================================================

Poetry book: “Joy to the world- A collection of poems for children”- Author: Raymond Anthony Fernando
"Joy to the world- A collection of poems for children" has been specially written to reach out to children between the ages of 3 to 12 years. The book has a collection of 30 poems that is matched with drawings by children. To some extent, the book has been produced for children, by children.

The book costs $12. All 450 copies of this book have been sold out. However, a reprint of this book will be considered if there is a heavy demand for it.
=====================================================

Cookbook: “Cook with love”- Author: Doris Lau Siew Lang
"Cook with love" is a collection of 38 local dishes by housewife Doris Lau that is relatively inexpensive and fun to cook. The author believes that if you add the extra ingredient of “love”, the dish will taste much better. This explains why Doris has decided to name this cookbook, "Cook with love". Doris has inherited her late mother’s culinary skills and that of her Eurasian mother-in-law. As a full time housewife, Doris has found time to experiment with simple and easy to prepare wholesome dishes that is suitable for those leading a hectic lifestyle as well as of those wanting to try out new dishes. Her recipes include noodles, soups, curries and sambal dishes. There is a recipe for everyone for every day of the week. As you experiment with Doris’s recipes like Laksa, Assam Fish, Hor Fun, Cutlets, Salted Vegetable Soup, Ikan Bilis Sambal and her other mouth-watering dishes, you will discover that cooking like eating can be such an enjoyable experience.

This cookbook costs $12. All 1,000 copies have been sold out. However, a reprint of this book will be considered if there is a heavy demand for it. This cookbook is also available as an E-book. To purchase an E-book copy, click here : http://rankseminar.com/cook-with-love-by-doris-lau

=====================================================

Poetry & cookbook: “The pot that cooks & the pen that moves”- Authors: Raymond Anthony Fernando & Doris Lau Siew Lang

"The pot that cooks and the pen that moves” is a first ever book jointly written by a husband and wife team that has a collection of 28 recipes and 20 moving heartfelt poems. This book is a sequel to both authors’ earlier successful books. The recipes produced by Doris Lau Siew Lang are easy to cook and the poems written by her husband, Raymond Anthony Fernando are very readable. Included in this book are recipes such as Steamed Fish, Mutton Curry, Mee Soto, Soup Kambing, Fish Sliced Vermicelli, Fried Rice, Kangkong fried with Blachan, Chicken Chop and the ever-popular Chilli Crabs. There are also sambal dishes and soup dishes to add variety to your weekly menu. The second part of this book has inspirational and heartfelt poems such as “Unseen Journey”, “Tidal Waves, Tidal Graves – In memory of the Tsunami Disaster”, “Sacrifice” and many other messages that focuses on real life

This book costs $15. All 500 copies have been sold out. However, a reprint of this book will be considered if there is a heavy demand for it.
=====================================================

Novel: “Beautiful memories, precious love”- A trip down memory lane- Author: Doris Lau Siew Lang
What was it like living in a kampong in the 60s’? What about the pace of working life in the 70s’? “Beautiful memories, precious love” takes readers on a nostalgic trip during this era and tells of the author’s early childhood days when she lived in a village in Lorong Napiri. The story also brings out the powerful message of love that the author inherited from her beloved mother and passed it on to many people that walked into her life. “ Beautiful memories, precious love” also revolves around children who grew up with the author and her husband and who have made a deep impact on their lives.

This book costs $15. All 1,000 copies have been sold out. However, a reprint of this book will be considered if there is a heavy demand for it.

=====================================================

Children's storybook: “Tell me a story, then I’ll go to bed – A collection of bedtime stories for children”- Authors: Raymond Anthony Fernando & Doris Lau Siew Lang
"Tell me a story, then I’ll go to bed – A collection of bedtime stories for children" has a collection of 10 (ten) short stories, each matched with a poem that is connected to the story. As kids relate well to pictures, the authors have also commissioned an illustrator to draw some lovely sketches of each story in full colour so that children will find this book interesting. Each story has a clear message of the virtues of doing charitable work, performing acts of kindness, caring for the animals and birds, and nurturing family bonding.

This book, which comes in full colour costs $18. All 550 copies of this book have been sold out.

=====================================================

Novel : “The face behind the front” - Author: Raymond Anthony Fernando

“The face behind the front” is the sequel to the author’s all time bestseller, “Loving a Schizophrenic”. As a solitary caregiver to his wife who has schizophrenia, “The face behind the front” focuses on the author’s many challenges he faces in caring for his loved ones, who include his beloved wife, Doris, mother and twin brother. The book reveals that beneath the mask of a happy face is a hidden face – a face etched with years of emotional pain, suffering and depression.

“The face behind the front” also speaks of the many people that have walked into Raymond Anthony Fernando’s life and they include his classmates, teachers, office colleagues, his friends and his church – people that showed one face on the outside and another on the inside.

If you are a caretaker for your loved ones, “The face behind the front” will inspire you to continue the difficult journey, strengthen your resolve and help you find meaning in a seemingly thankless task. This is a story of a caregiver’s emotional pain and how he overcomes tremendous odds to bring hope to the mentally ill as well as chart new directions in his life. In this book, the author-caregiver also provides useful caregiver tips in managing persons suffering from mental illness.

All 700 copies have been sold out. The book costs $20.

=====================================================

2nd collection of Children's storybook: “ The glass slippers and other stories for child” - Authors: Raymond Anthony Fernando & Doris Lau Siew Lang
This is the authors' 2nd collection of stories for children. The book comes with 10 adventure stories that will keep children on the edge of their seats. There is a local flavour that is blended in some of the tales. Each story is matched with a poem and a drawing in full colour that captures the theme of the story.

All 550 copies of this book have been sold sold. The book costs $18.



=====================================================

Novel: “There's LIGHT at the end of the DARK TUNNEL” - Author: Raymond Anthony Fernando
In this book titled, “There's LIGHT at the end of the DARK TUNNEL”, Raymond present 18 chapters, many of which will show that if we have faith in God, He will always be there for us. And He will rescue us in our weakest moments. What is important is that we trust in God and continue to believe in Him, to worship Him.

The book opens with Raymond discussing why there is suffering in this world, then moves on to his sharing some ghost stories, strange encounters and untold paranormal incidents. There's a happy ending to this collection of true stories when Raymond recounts moving testimonies of God's love and how he have finally seen light at the end of the dark tunnel.

All 700 copies have been sold out. The book costs $15. However, a reprint of this book will be considered if there is a heavy demand for it.

=====================================================

Advocacy book: “A CHOICE, A VOICE, A CAUSE: One man's advocacy on social issues” -Author: Raymond Anthony Fernando
“A CHOICE, A VOICE, A CAUSE: One man's advocacy on social issues” documents Raymond's tireless efforts to raise awareness of mental illness and other social issues, and to secure more support for those who struggle with the stresses of life. This well-known caregiver has written a total of 100 letters to the press – 46 of which are reproduced in this book. Raymond has also taken part in campaigns, given motivational talks and spoken on national television and radio to seek better understanding, support and compassion for sufferers of mental illness and their families.

The book retails at S15. Coming out at in April 2011. Limited copies available.

S'pore's becoming too noisy: Raymond writes to the press

"The most serious problem created by sound pollution is the impact on our health."
My letter on the above matter was published in MediaCorp's TODAY newspaper on Monday 31st Jan 2011.

I REFER to the letter, "Can't sleep for the MRT clatter (Jan 27), and share Tan Lye Chye's sentiments.

In our fast-paced lives, our homes should be a place where we can relax and have peace of mind. Yet, this is not possible in the estate where we live in Ang Mo Kio because all the year round, there is noise pollution almost seven days a week.

Before residents can fully recover from two years of noise from the Lift Upgrading Programme, we will now have to bear with more noise pollution and inconvenience from the impending upgrading inside our flats, with the changing of pipes, doors and toilets.

I will then have to search for alternative accommodation as my wife, who is coping with schizophrenia, cannot bear excessive noise. Her mobility is also severely impaired because of arthritis.

Shouldn't the HDB show some empathy and provide us with affordable alternative accommodation if they insist on carrying out such works? Should not there be consideration shown to the sick and those who are convalescing at home?

Funeral wakes are carried out almost every month opposite our block and the chanting can last as late as 11pm over three to four days. Every week, the irritating noise of the blower used to remove the cut grass disrupts the quiet we so badly need at the close of the week.

There is also excessive noise when clan associations regularly carry out their activities late in the night, and this sometimes stretches for a week. In the middle of the night, the beating of the drums does not allow anyone a wink of sleep.

Karaoke singing in HDB flats should not be encouraged. To my left, a couple sings at the top at their voices every weekend, sometimes past 1am. Above my flat, another family also engages in this activity with total disregard for residents.

The most serious problem created by sound pollution is the impact it has on our health. Besides disrupting sleep, noise pollution has also been linked with stress, heart disease, high blood pressure and stroke.

As I have to write for a living, I have no choice but work in the wee hours. Doesn't a caregiver also need rest? Little wonder I have suffered burnout countless times.


Raymond Anthony Fernando

MY VIEWS: Support for our marginalised communities: MATCH HARDWARE WITH HEARTWARE -

As the New Year opens, many of us are looking forward to a happy and prosperous beginning. However, for some families, this is not the case when their loved ones have perished in a most tragic way.

First, two teenagers with special needs have lost their lives after one was found drowned in a lake in Woodlands Town Garden, and then 15-year-old Yuen Kai Lek, another special needs student was found dead in a locked bedroom in his home with a rope around his neck.

On Wednesday 5th January 2011, 29-year-old Tok Puay Yong was found dead in the compound of the Church of St Mary of the Angels. Tok, who appeared to have developed mental health problems was depressed over not being able to secure a job.

On 10th January 2011, Madam Ng Sock Luan, 48, who was being treated for depression is believed to have fallen from the common corridor of the point block in Bishan where she lived.

Last month, a cash-strapped 33-year old divorcee who also suffers from depression, gathered her three daughters - aged 10, 11 and 13 – in her bedroom, locked the door and proceeded to burn charcoal which would lead to carbon monoxide poisoning. The mother changed her mind when one of the daughters began crying and coughing. The police who were informed of her suicide bid by this daughter arrested the mother.

The Government has unveiled impressive plans to upgrade several constituencies costing millions of dollars that will improve the lives of residents. Amongst them - the Jalan Besar GRC and the Aljunied GRC.

Whilst this is a good move to improve the physical surroundings of the neighbourhoods, what is lacking is the compassion and support for our marginalised citizens and their caregivers who are finding it so difficult to cope. We can spend a lot of money renovating our house, but if we are unable to give love, support and understanding to our family members, then we cannot call the place we live, a home.

We have the hardware, so now let's match it with the heartware.

Raymond Anthony Fernando

I MADE A CHOICE - A Valentine's Day 2011 tribute to my wife, Doris

Raymond chose to marry his wife Doris at the age of 24, despite knowing that she suffers from schizophrenia and depression, amongst other things.


“What does love look like? It has the hands to help others.
It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy.
It has eyes to see misery and want.”
- St Augustine -

Schizophrenia is the most distressing of all mental disorders. The illness alters the way people think and feel, so that perceptions may be changed and thinking can be disturbed.

This is very disabling for the sufferers and very distressing for their families, who often become the primary caregivers.

I made a choice at the age of 24 that I would indeed, take the road less travelled and marry Doris.

So, why did I make that choice?

Unlike the many girls that I dated, Doris was very down-to-earth. I found her to be sincere, loving and caring. This was the woman that would change my life – dramatically.

Often marriages are put to the test when couples are confronted with financial problems or if a spouse is stricken with chronic illnesses.

All marriages will go through good and bad times. But if couples stick to one another during those rough times, the relationship will improve steadily as time goes by.

Today, my wife has a total of five illnesses, including schizophrenia, arthritis, diabetes, high cholesterol and incontinence.

Being the sole caregiver to my wife for more than three decades is no easy feat, and I have suffered burnout so many times.

Even though Doris is currently coping well with her mental illness, a relapse of her schizophrenia is always possible.

This is because of her struggles with arthritis, which often leaves her in severe pain and misery.

People with mental illness can relapse if a severe physical illness is not properly managed.

For schizophrenia, like some other mental disorders, is unpredictable.

Doris worries a great deal that one day she might not be able to walk.

But I have to constantly assure her that despite all her ailments, I will continue to care and love her to my last dying breath.

For I made a choice 35 years ago to marry Doris and keep our marriage vows intact despite the adversities I know I will face.

There is no question that the world today, is filled with an appalling amount of evil and suffering.

So, it is abundantly clear to me that what the world needs is love - lots of it.

If we can give love, understanding and support to a beggar, the elderly sick, the man who has lost his job, the children who go hungry, the depressed and the oppressed, then wouldn't everyday be Valentine's Day?

Come 14 February, let us make a pledge to 'infect' those around us with the power of love. For love has the power to heal.

My sentiments about my beloved Doris is best summed up in this Valentine's Day poem, entitled, “Love grows in a red rose.”Poem: Love grows in a red rose A Valentine's Day tribute to my lovely wife, Doris Lau Siew Lang

Dearest Doris, I may have to write till I'm blind

But with you in my heart,

I can survive, I will be fine

Treasure the pretty red rose

Your favourite flower – the one I gave to you some time ago

The beautiful rose that made love grow

As my affection for you each day continues to flow

Place the red rose on your coat

And allow your dreams to stay afloat

I'll take down on the dance floor

Dance with you cheek to cheek

Then you'll smile again, cheer you up

Perk you up - that's for sure

And when you finally pass on and be taken to the Lord

Like a drifting cloud

Each night, you will pass by

And as I look up yonder, high in the sky

I will see your face and try not to cry
For whenever I see a red rose in all its splendour

Your name, your face, your smile, your warmth

I will always cherish,

I will forever remember

Happy Valentine's Day, Doris

I will stay committed to you - and that's a promise."

Sincerely,

Raymond Anthony Fernando

Next Book

Coming your way (Akan Datang)! Raymond's next book: “A CHOICE, A VOICE, A CAUSE: One man's advocacy on social issues”
There are many talented singers, sports champions and world leaders who have left a legacy. Boxing legend Muhammad Ali is most certainly one of them. Then, we have singers like the late Jim Reeves, Ricky Nelson, Elvis Presley and politicians like Sir Winston Churchill, Mahatma Gandhi and American President Abraham Lincoln who will forever live in our hearts for their invaluable contributions to society.

But you need not be a superstar or a famous politician to leave your mark. Some people who believe in advocacy will be remembered for speaking up for the marginalised, the needy and the poor. Model Caregiver 2007 and Mental Health Champion 2011 - Raymond Anthony Fernando who has championed the plight of psychiatric patients and their caregivers for more than six years has been described as one of Singapore's leading advocates on mental illness.

“A CHOICE, A VOICE, A CAUSE: One man's advocacy on social issues” documents Raymond's tireless efforts to raise awareness of mental illness and other social issues, and to secure more support for those who struggle with the stresses of life. This well-known caregiver has written a total of 100 letters to the press – 46 of which are reproduced in this book. Raymond has also taken part in campaigns, given motivational talks and spoken on national television and radio to seek better understanding, support and compassion for sufferers of mental illness and their families.

This book, expected to be out in March 2011 retails at $15. Place your orders early with Raymond E-mail to avoid disappointment. There are limited copies.

Finding disabled people who go missing -Use pendant with chip for easy tracking

My letter was published in The New Paper today, Wed 5 Jan 2010, page 20.

I refer to the report, “Oh no, is that our son?”and “ Oh no, it's him” (The New Paper, Jan 2, and 4).

The worry that Mr Chye Chee Meng and his wife must have gone through, first in searching for their missing teenage autistic son and then finding out it was he who had drowned in Woodlands Town Garden, must have been overwhelming.

The police had first told them that the body did not appear to be their son, but later told them the drowning victim was their missing son after all. Perhaps, if investigations had been more thorough, the mistaken identity would not have added to the parent's anxiety.

That aside, people with intellectual disabilities need better protection so that their caregivers are not placed in too much anxiety should their loved ones go missing.

Perhaps the authorities could consider implementing an electronic tracking system in the form of a pendant for this vulnerable group, who could also include the lonely elderly.

Participation in this scheme should be voluntary.

However, the pendant could be attractively designed and affordable so that more people would wear it.

The pendant should have the details of the wearer in a microchip, similar to the Development Disability  Registry (DDR) Identity Card for people with disabilities.

This device would enable the police to track any missing persons in this category in double quick time, cutting down on manpower hours and resources.



RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO

Let us be inspired by what Oprah Winfrey once said: “Do one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.”