Killer litter: Raymond's letter to the Straits Times (ST)

My letter to the Straits Times on on the woman who displayed signs of bizzzare behaviour was published today, Friday 18th December 2009 in the ST Forum page, A30.

P.S. I will continue to wage an all out war againts those who discriminate and ill treat all people with mental illnesses, the sick and the elderly.

Thanks
Raymond Anthony Fernando

MY POINT

Killer litter:
“I refer to Tuesday's report, “Killer litter flowerpot injures guest at wedding”. People whose marriages break down are likely to fall into depression or become unstable. What I find disturbing is that although neighbours were aware that the 34-year-old woman was displaying signs of bizarre behaviour, no one bothered to get her help. The crowd that cheered and clapped as police led the woman away should feel ashamed of their behaviour. The mark of a civilised society is the way it treats its least privileged, the sick and the elderly.”

Raymond Anthony Fernando

Letter to the New Paper: Taking care of mental patients

Letter to the New Paper: More help and support needed

My letter to the New Paper was published today, Thursday 17 December 2009, Page 21

I refer to the report, “I am confused about how my wife died” (The New Paper, 11 Dec).

The depressing events surrounding Madam Hoon Ai Choo's death and how her confused husband did not realise that she had died, once again demonstrate the total isolation and lack of support psychiatric patients and their caregivers continue to face in their lives.

It must be heartbreaking for Madam Hooi's husband, Mr Lua to come to terms with her tragic end. I hope that he gets all the support that he badly needs.

Over the last few months, there have been many cases of people losing the will to live.

On the 8 Dec, a depressed widow of the bridegroom found dead outside the Hilton Singapore hours after their wedding banquet was rushed to hospital with cuts to both her wrists. Madam Kerin Peh had attempted suicide because she could not cope with the loss of her husband.

I was also deeply saddened to read of the report in which a 50-year-old Indian diver had committed suicide after his wife left him and when he faced financial problems regarding payments to his flat.

I relate well to these cases because as a caregiver to my wife who has mental illness, I face huge roadblocks in providing a safe haven for her.

On many occasions I had wanted to buy an insurance policy for my wife, but it was rejected because even notable insurance companies do not allow coverage for psychiatric patients. Why?

I had approached the newly set-up Centre for Enabling Living (CEL) twice to ask them to source for funding for the books that my wife and I can write, but the management flatly refused to help to put up the appeal on our behalf.

What is the point of setting up an organisation that refuses to attend to the needs of patients with disabilities, especially when we both have to write for a living?

The nationwide survey on mental health will take one year. In the meantime, what measures are there in place to save and rebuild lives?

RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO

Mental health-care system needs major overhaul

Mental health advocate responds to the nationwide mental health survey: Mental health-care system needs major overhaul

Raymond Anthony Fernando's letter to the New Paper was published today, Wednesday 2 December 2009, Page 10.

I refer to the article on a nationwide mental health survey, “15,000 Singaporean adults to participate” (The New Paper, 25 Nov).

Due to the dearth of information on mental health, many people still believe that mental patients are a burden to society. Television dramas often portray mental patients as violent people who are trouble makers.

When we do not understand mental illness, we become biased against the sufferers.

With this survey, I hope that the Institute of Mental Health and the Government will make a concerted effort to provide better support for caregivers.

This is a group that is vulnerable into developing mental illness themselves because of the tremendous stress they face in caring for their loved ones.

In 2006, when my wife suffered her 11th relapse of schizophrenia, I was depressed and I could not get any support from any of the mental health providers.

One told me: “I'm sorry to hear that your wife has had a relapse. Please take care of yourself.”

A nurse manager suggested I see a psychiatrist and go back on medication for the depression that I struggled with in 1995. I refused to go back on medication because all I wanted was for someone to comfort me and walk me through that difficult period.

To tackle mental illness head on, a holistic approach, involving perspectives of doctors, patients and caregivers is needed because if you are a caregiver for the first time, you will be groping in the dark.

Even though I have wealth of experience in caring for my wife who has excelled in life through her literary skills and my encouragement, it has not been easy for me to change mindsets, even among mental health-care providers.

It is time to re-look the bridge to mental health care, for the system needs a major overhaul.

RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO

Raymond's next letter to the New Paper :PART-TIME MAIDS FOR CAREGIVERS

Home help services unsatisfactory

This letter was published in the New Paper on Friday 20 November 2009, page 24.

I am disappointed with the reply given by the Ministry of Manpower, “Impractical for maids to commute daily” (The New Paper, 19 Nov).

Caregivers who make every effort to look after their elderly sick should be commended and given all the support they need.

Mr David Soh Poh Huat's suggestion “Allow trained part-time caregivers” (The New Paper, 14 Nov) deserves full consideration.

It is easy to shoot down an idea, but it takes effort to study and implement bold , even radical ideas.

In the case of caring for the mentally ill, the journey is extremely tough, so much so that many give up and either leave their stricken ones to fend for themselves or place them in hospitals or homes.

Even though my wife has suffered horrifically from schizophrenia, depression and 4 other chronic illnesses, I have not chosen to give up on her for 35 years. But ours is an isolated and lonely journey.

Allowing part-time maids for caregivers will give us some respite, which is something that we desperately need, especially if we make every effort to stay loyal to our stricken ones.

Moreover with the rising cost of living in Singapore, part-time maids will allow family members to engage in some part-time work and help with household expenses.

I have tried the home help services and found them unsatisfactory.

I found the meals unpalatable and the cost of transport services for medical appointments were not easy to bear.

RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO

MDJunction.com - People helping people

MDJunction.com - Center for Online Support Groups

MDJunction is home to more than 630 Online Support Groups each dedicated to one health challenge - a place where thousands of patients meet every day to discuss their feelings, questions and hopes with like minded friends.

It is a proven way to find information, comfort, support and friendship with people who are in your spot and understand you best.

I have joined the schizophrenia support group given my 35 years' experience in caring for my beloved wife, Doris. I find it useful and comforting knowing that we(my wife & I) are not alone in our journey .

Check out their nice website: http://www.mdjunction.com/

Sincerely,

Raymond Anthony Fernando

Raymond's letter to the Press: Elder Abuse: Caregivers need compassion and support

My letter to the New Paper was published today, Wednesday, 4th November 2009, page 21

I refer to the article, “Most abuse cases by victims' children” (The New Paper, 22 Oct).

I am glad that Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports Vivian Balakrishan has raised the issue of elder abuse, as it is becoming a worrying trend here in Singapore.

Taking care of the mentally ill and those with multiple chronic illnesses is extremely stressful, and can bring out the best or the worse in people.

Family conflicts are bound to set in when relatives refuse to share in caregiving. I am trapped in this unfortunate circumstance.

As a sole caregiver to my wife who has schizophrenia, arthritis and three other chronic illnesses, I have suffered burnout countless times. My 34-year journey in caring for my wife all by myself is now affecting my health and I am experiencing severe nerve and eye problems.

It is a daily routine for me to prepare 41 tablets for my wife's multiple illnesses. I also have to do all the household chores. Who will see to my wife's needs if my health suffers?

The strain of bringing my wife for up to four medical appointments in a month is wearing me out. I have never had any sort of respite.

The harsh reality is that when you are looking after a family member with a serious mental disorder such as schizophrenia, you all all alone in this world.

I have to be with my wife 24 hours of the day because her arthritis condition puts her at risk of falling.

It is also very costly for me to look after her with no support.

In the UK I am told that people in our predicament get a lot of support. Not only is a caregiver allowance given, it seems the authorities even allow the caregivers to enjoy a two-week holiday whilst their sick loved ones are also put up at a holiday home.

I appeal to the Government to understand our plight and provide us with the support that we so badly need.

Caregivers do not need sympathy and pity. What they need is compassion and support.

RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO

Our Latest Book

The perfect gift for Christmas & the New Year:

The Glass Slippers and other stories for children is a delightful collection of short stories written for children and parents to read together. This book, which comes in full colour, has a collection of 10 adventure stories that will keep children on the edge of their seats. There is a local flavour that is blended in some of these tales. Each story is matched with a poem and a drawing that captures the theme of the story. Children between the ages of 5 to 12 will get all excited as they read about, “The Glass slippers”, “The girl who loved tomatoes”, “Celia meets Robin Hood”, “Send in the clown”, “Shipwrecked” and many more.

This book, jointly written by Raymond Anthony Fernando & his wife, Doris Lau Siew Lang costs $18 and makes a perfect gift for Christmas or the New Year! It is expected to be released in December 2009 or early 2010.

To order a copy/copies of this book, send your details to Raymond at his email address at rafcutie@singnet.com.sg

There will be a postage fee of $2 per book if the book is mailed to the reader. Don't wait , place your order early to avoid disappointment!



Here are two (2) illustrations of the many drawings that will appear in the book. Please note that these illustrations are copyrighted to the authors and their artist.