Folks,
Do find time to read my love story and my caregiving journey 4 times
over here on the STOMP Valentine’s Day Contest 2018. I celebrate my 68th
birthday next month – on Valentine’s Day😊
Love Story: Giving unconditional love even after wife passes away
battling schizophrenia
It's not easy to lose someone you love, but it is even harder to solider on
and continue showing love to others.
67-year-old Raymond Anthony Fernando had to fill many hats and take on
multiple caregiver roles ever since his wife had passed away.
He had loved and taken care of his wife, Doris Lau, who battled
schizophrenia for four decades before passing on.
Despite this, he had to still on three other caregiving
roles for his relatives, including his late sister Veronica who battle
depression before her untimely passing in January of last year.
He said, " I am now simultaneously taking care and providing
unconditional love to my twin brother Roy Peter who has to cope with depression
and has severe mobility problems as well as my 95-year-old mother who resides
in a nursing home, just like my twin brother."
"One thing I have learnt through the caregiving journeys is that when we
give that much-needed support, love and care to another human being, the smiles
on the care recipients is a joy that is indescribable," added Raymond.
To Raymond, he calls children "the biggest adventure
on Earth".
His late wife and him had adored children and although they did not have
any children of his own, it did not stop them from loving other parents' kids.
Raymond said:
"Doris and I played babysitter to Celia Chua (now 12 years-old) when
she was born for a one-year period and we continued to give love and care to
children of our friends. Kids are so adorable and just like pets are
non-judgmental; they just know how to shower us with love.
"And when you are able to give love to children, they will come to you
naturally."
To Raymond, providing unconditional love also means reaching out to the
less fortunate in society, abandoned children, persons struggling with mental
health issues and the elderly sick,
"I have always believed that when we have skills that can benefit
society, share it. So, having gained much from taking care of my late wife who
recovered from schizophrenia, I go all over Singapore conducting motivational
talks on how to manage mental illness," said Raymond.
He intends to visit some of our ASEAN neighbours in the Philippines,
Malaysia and Indonesia to educate its citizens on schizophrenia and
depression.
He also plans to visit an orphanage in the Philippines to spend some time
teaching English to the kids there as education is so important for children.
A recent video produced by a good friend of his – Fauzi, provides
insightful peeks into his life as he celebrates my 68th birthday
on 14th February 2018.
Poem: Across
the bridge
My Dearest
Doris,
40 years ago, I took you as my
bride
I have enjoyed looking after you
– with much pride
I have always been by your side
In good times, and in bad
In happy times, and moments when
you were sad
Your six chronic illnesses made
you struggle through the years
You had so much fears and shed
lots of tears
There were periods when you cried
out – defeat
But I helped lift you up, even
though it was no easy feat
Just when together, we won the
battle with your schizophrenia
You lost out to the deadly
pneumonia
You left me so suddenly, for
death came furious and fast
But my undying love for you,
Doris will forever last
Across the bridge, there will be
sunshine and happiness
Across the bridge, my love for
you will forever come first
In our home, I’ll treasure what
you found comfort in – soft toy cute bears
Remember my family and close
friends for you, we still care
I pledge to love you more and
more each day, Doris
And that in every sense of the
word is a documented promise
Where you are, my love, watch
over me, as in my heart, in our home
You will always stay; you will
always have a place
This Valentine’s Day as with many
others
You are pictured in my mind, with
so much grace
With all my love,
Ray
Footnote: There are a
total of 11 photographs that accompanies my article
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