Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Afternote Article for zinniaafternote.com: “Knowing you is loving you”

Dear folks,

Do take time to read my article on the above matter. Very touching and down-to-earth write up.



Raymond Anthony Fernando
Feature Writer



When a loved one has passed on, relatives will have to start rebuilding their lives. What is so important is for family members to cherish and honour those who have left us. To keep their memories alive for the commitment and selfless support and love they have given to their families and the community who include their employers, co-workers and friends.


Every human body, dead or alive must be cared for and treated with reverence and respect. We are talking about people – those with families and friends, people who were loved and were loved.  We are talking about people who may have died through natural causes and people who have died prematurely, either through sickness or through unforeseen circumstances such as tragedies or accidents.


While an obituary will inform people of the passing of someone, here at Zinniaafternote, they fervently believe that it is so important to give some insightful peeks into the lives of those who have died, so that they will be fondly remembered.  Basically, to know the person and to love him/her. 


This brings to my mind a lovely song made popular by a pop group, The Teddy Bears, way back in the early years, entitled To know him is to love him”


The opening lyrics of this lovely tune go like this:


To know, know, know him is to love, love, love him
Just to see him smile, makes my life worthwhile
To know, know, know him is to love, love, love him
And I do (and I do, and I do)”


True to every sense of the word, when we get to know someone, we can learn to love him or her.


Therefore, when we provide an afternote alongside the obituary, even people who do not know the deceased will be able to somehow or other have connectivity. And through connectivity, beautiful bonds can be developed – over time.


Cases in point are the afternotes which I wrote for both my wife and my sister.


For Doris, I have, and will always cherish her till the end of time as she had given me 40 best years of my life, and this is clearly documented in the afternote. For even when I pass on, anyone can still read and cherish the beautiful memories Doris and I once shared as a couple. And such memories will live on and on.  Doris had special needs and to a large extent, people will admire her for the love she has so unselfishly gave to me.  This can so easily spur others to cherish and care for their loves ones who will include their spouses or parents or grandparents.


In the same vein, I have honoured my only sister with an afternote, remembering Veronica as outstanding and model worker in the giant telco, Singtel where she worked for 35 long years. Additionally, her remarkable selfless dedication and commitment as the sole caregiver to my 95-year-old mother, Veronica can certainly be an inspiration to others to embrace caregiving as a noble job.


We have many unsung heroes in our midst who feel for the needy, but go unnoticed.  They do not crave for glory, but they do their bit to lift the human spirit – and that in itself is commendable.


I was chatting with my downstairs neighbour a short while ago and while touching on the subject of honouring the dead, I thanked him for the kindness he often shows to me. Let’s just call him “C.”  C looks rather stern, but he has a heart of gold.  I got to know C as I adore children, and he has two well brought up kids. They are polite and respectful and so is his wife.


C knows I enjoy reading the newspapers, but unselfishly shares The Straits Times with me every single day as he is fully aware that being without a full-time job means I have to cut corners.


C is in his own special way doing charity work by showing compassion, empathy and support to me as he knows that as a widower, I could do with some kind of support, even if it is for a friendly half an hour chit-chat.


There are many kind-hearted people like C around, and they all ought to be remembered when their journey ends.  On all accounts, zinniaafternote.com is the right platform to do so.


Raymond Anthony Fernando



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