It was most disturbing seeing an impatient man chide, shout and use profanities on the lady who took some time trying to carry out a transaction at the ATM machine as reported in “SG uncle bullies woman at ATM.”
Speaking with an Ang Moh accent, the man not only blasted her, but even threatened to slap the perplexed woman. Clearly, he lacks patience. He appears to be one angry man!
Not everyone is well versed with these machines and for all you know the woman could have forgotten her pin number. If you have someone who is hounding you all the way, you are sure to lose concentration as you could become frightened. You feel intimidated.
Many who saw the report and the video were upset that the people in the queue did nothing to stop the verbal abuse. But I guess the man’s aggressive behaviour might be the reason they did not want to intervene. The intolerant man could have turned on them as well and seeing his aggressive behaviour, a fight could have broken out.
Uncontrolled anger as in this case has to be put in check; he needs to be engaged with counsellors on regular basis and in time to come with the right programmes, he can mellow. When people get angry, their heart distance a fair bit. To cover that distance, they must shout at another person so that they can be ‘heard.’
On the other hand, well-managed anger can motivate impatient and angry people to make positive changes.
With Singapore’s population expected to swell to 6.9 million few years down the road, it is even more reason for everyone to exercise patience otherwise we will end up picking quarrels with one another.
Patience is the ability to tolerate waiting, delay, or frustration without becoming agitated or upset. It's the ability to be able to control our emotions or impulses and proceed calmly when faced with difficulties. Needless to say, patience does not come easily for most of us and it's probably harder now to be patient as the pace of life is so much faster.
I have seen leaflets of all kinds of talks being organised by the Thompson Community Centre placed outside the lifts at the hawker centre; and this is a good way to also include talks by anger management specialists – island wide.
In addition, tips on how to manage anger could be published in newsletters that are mailed to residents.
Forums in the media can also help to raised more awareness of anger management.
Through these platforms, it is important to remind everyone that when we are able to control our temper, our stress levels will be significantly reduced. The messages must be clear: Practice patience and you don't get angry, stressed or overwhelmed. This results in you being more in control of your emotions and in a better position to deal with difficult situations with ease and poise. The other benefit is that proper anger management promotes longevity and makes you a happier, healthier person.
Raymond Anthony Fernando