It was most disturbing seeing an impatient man
chide, shout and use profanities on the lady who took some time trying to carry
out a transaction at the ATM machine as reported in “SG uncle bullies woman at
ATM.”
Speaking with an Ang Moh accent, the man not only
blasted her, but even threatened to slap the perplexed woman. Clearly, he lacks
patience. He appears to be one angry man!
Not everyone is well versed with these machines and
for all you know the woman could have forgotten her pin number. If you have
someone who is hounding you all the way, you are sure to lose concentration as
you could become frightened. You feel intimidated.
Many who saw the report and the video were upset
that the people in the queue did nothing to stop the verbal abuse. But I guess
the man’s aggressive behaviour might be the reason they did not want to
intervene. The intolerant man could have turned on them as well and seeing his
aggressive behaviour, a fight could have broken out.
Uncontrolled anger as in this case has to be put in
check; he needs to be engaged with counsellors on regular basis and in time to
come with the right programmes, he can mellow. When people get angry, their
heart distance a fair bit. To cover that distance, they must shout at another
person so that they can be ‘heard.’
On the other hand, well-managed anger can motivate
impatient and angry people to make positive changes.
With Singapore’s population expected to swell to
6.9 million few years down the road, it is even more reason for everyone to
exercise patience otherwise we will end up picking quarrels with one another.
Patience is the ability to tolerate waiting, delay,
or frustration without becoming agitated or upset. It's the ability to be able
to control our emotions or impulses and proceed calmly when faced with
difficulties. Needless to say, patience does not come easily for most of us and
it's probably harder now to be patient as the pace of life is so much faster.
I have seen leaflets of all kinds of talks being
organised by the Thompson Community Centre placed outside the lifts at the
hawker centre; and this is a good way to also include talks by anger management
specialists – island wide.
In addition, tips on how to manage anger could be
published in newsletters that are mailed to residents.
Forums in the media can also help to raised more
awareness of anger management.
Through these platforms, it is important to remind
everyone that when we are able to control our temper, our stress levels will be
significantly reduced. The messages must be clear: Practice patience and you
don't get angry, stressed or overwhelmed. This results in you being more in
control of your emotions and in a better position to deal with difficult
situations with ease and poise. The other benefit is that proper anger
management promotes longevity and makes you a happier, healthier person.
Raymond Anthony Fernando
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