Folks, tomorrow I and my twin brother, Roy will be celebrating our 67th
birthday which also falls on Valentine’s Day. Enjoy reading my article.
Sincerely,
Raymond Anthony Fernando
Spread Love, Not Just on Valentine’s Day
With Valentine's Day approaching, florists and
restaurants will be having a roaring business as men shower their girlfriends
or wives with bouquets of roses and fine dining in celebration of one of the
most romantic events of the year.
Every February 14, here in Singapore and other
places around the world, candy, flowers and gifts are exchanged between loved
ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But just who is this mysterious saint
named St. Valentine? Where and where did these traditions come from?
HISTORY OF ST. VALENTINE
The history of Valentine’s Day–and the story of its
patron saint–is shrouded in mystery. We do know that February has long been
celebrated as a month of romance, and that St. Valentine’s Day, as we know it
today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition.
One story suggest that Valentine may have been
killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they
were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, an imprisoned
Valentine actually sent the first “valentine” greeting himself after he fell in
love with a young girl–possibly his jailor’s daughter–who visited him during
his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter
signed “From your Valentine,” an expression that is still in use today.
Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all
emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic and–most importantly– a romantic
figure.
CELEBRATION WITH FAMILY
My twin brother and I are blessed to be born on
Valentine’s Day and before we were married, our parents made it a must to buy a
big birthday cake and my mother will prepare some lovely mouth-watering dishes
to celebrate the occasion. Our favourites – her delicious Eurasian chicken
curry, prawn sambal and nasi kuning (Yellow rice).
After we got married, each of us had our individual
simple celebrations with our partners.
Love is the most wonderful virtue that anyone can
ever experience. Most certainly, love is food for the soul. I used to
tease my wife, Doris that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and
she gamely obliged. So, throughout the 40 years that we married, Doris would
make it a must to cook my favourite meal – curry crab and we spent a quiet but joyful
celebration together.
But love can be so painful when you lose the one
you loved so dearly – as in my case. Having given the best care and love to
Doris who battled schizophrenia for 44 years which was often overwhelming for
me as her sole caregiver for 4 decades, I have absolutely no regrets taking her
as my life-long partner wife for one simple reason: She taught me about the
power of unconditional love. In Doris, I found the courage to love fully
and completely.
SIMPLE ACTS OF LOVE
Valentine’s Day has become very commercialised
these days, but you don’t need to splurge on flowers, gifts and fine dining to
show your appreciation to your partner. You just need to perform acts of
kindness and do simple things everyday such as making a cup of hot milo for
your partner just before she goes off to bed. You can help with the household
chores, and if married with kids, share with child upbringing. A hug and a kiss
at the start of the day, coupled with phone calls to keep in touch with one
another cements the power of unconditional love.
For me, I don’t need to have 101 friends to be
happy after the passing of my wife. All I need is my siblings to keep in touch
with me and just a couple of friends to chit chat and have a meal occasionally
so that I do not feel all alone.
FRIENDS WHO CARE ENOUGH
To this end, I am heartened that I have some
kind-hearted Christians who share a meal with me occasionally, one of whom is
my former classmate in St Andrew’s School in Christopher Nair or Sagar Nair as
I have known him for more than 40 years. I am looking forward to his
Valentine’s Day dinner which he will host me. It is a good time to catch
up given that he is one busy man with work and as a caregiver to his lovely
wife, Joni.
I am also blessed to have kind Catholic friends in
Jeremiah Tan and Michael Png and his caring wife, Josephine. Last
Christmas, Michael, Josephine and two friends from the Christ of Risen Choir
brought along a guitar, pastries and drinks and we had a great time singing the
Christmas carols in my home. This is how the virtue of love reigns high.
In my friend, Jeremiah Tan, I can always count on
him to send me to the airport whenever I make a trip overseas, need him as a
‘handy’ man to replace the blown lights in my home, troubleshoot my computer or
handphone problems or fetch me to far off places when I am unsure of how to get
there.
So, let there be simple gestures of support, love
and care for another human being to allow the Valentine spirit to flourish all
year round.
RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO
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