Advocacy- a thankless task
Advocacy is a thankless job and
people who are heartless will curse you.
And both my wife and I have been cursed to die. I can no longer bury
this in my heart cos’ it is tearing me apart. Yes, my wife was cursed to die or
I to die so that I will cease to carry this fight to ‘free the mentally ill
from their prisons.’ The person who cursed us got her wish, my wife died. Will
I die? That remains to be seen.
Lack of support from the church
Now, allow me to relate an
incident which took place recently as I tried unsuccessfully to market my novel
“Loving a Schizophrenic” which was translated in Chinese at a Catholic Church
in Siglap. There were 2 main reasons why I wanted to sell this book at this
Church which can benefit even Catholics.
Firstly to educate and help
people understand mental illness so that lives can be saved and reclaimed and
secondly, to earn some money to put food on my table and pay for my expensive
medical conditions that include 2 eye operations that are due.
And this is what happened after I
made the request:
On Wednesday 9th
September 2015 at 8.10am I received a call from the Parish Priest Fr Kenny Tan
who was yelling his head out at me following my 2nd appeal to him, clearly
upset that I had copied my plea for support to the Archbishop.
Imagine getting such a phone call
first thing in the morning from a Catholic Parish Priest whose boisterous voice
was so loud that it was picked up by the lady behind me near a bank, who
comforted me after I shared, with tears in my eyes, my struggles in wanting to
earn a decent living through writing and raising awareness of mental illness.
And trying so hard to cope with the grief over the loss of my wife. Is this anyway a priest ought to communicate?
Earlier on Fr Kenny had the audacity
to suggest that I sell off my 3-room flat and downgrade to a smaller flat so
that I can "live comfortably till my time is up". But does he not
know that my home has beautiful memories of my wife which I want to cherish for
the rest of my remaining years? How insensitive? Little wonder that many
Catholics are leaving the church because some priests are adopting a 'talk-down
attitude" as opposed to a talk to attitude".
A crash course in public
relations is badly needed for the clergy. Perhaps it is high time that our
clergy is reminded of how supportive Pope Francis is of the mentally ill and
their caregivers
And although I sent two emails to the Archbishop, he has failed to
respond. Even when my wife died, I had
to send the Head of The Catholic Church a couple of reminders before he offered
some words of comfort.
Lack of support from SAMH
Next, I wanted to secure some funding for my new books because I write
to keep my sanity. I drafted the sponsor letter to make it easier for the
Executive Director (ED) of the Singapore Association for Mental Health (SAMH)
to write a simple cover letter based on my appeal. The staff member handling
the hotline was most unhelpful and claimed that the ED was ‘Very busy”. I could
not get a chance to speak to the ED either because the staff member refuses to
put her on the line. It is more than 3
weeks now (appeal letter was sent on 18th August), and until now,
SAMH is “sitting on it”. Two emails sent
to Dr Daniel Fung of IMH Senior Management who is also the President of SAMH
highlighting this lack of support has failed to secure a response.
I have done so much for mental health, IMH has benefited tremendously
– they have got more staff, more resources and more money because I had the
courage and conviction to speak out boldly without fear in the press, on radio
and TV on what it is like to care for a loved one suffering from schizophrenia,
citing my beloved Doris’ 40 year battle with this severe brain disorder.
I hope someday kind-hearted individuals or organizations will step
forward to help me as I try so hard to earn a decent living and rebuild my
life. Thank you for your time & God Bless!
RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO
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