Raymond's letter to The New Paper: Look into the welfare of caregivers

My letter on the above matter is published today, Wed 25 May 2011, page 20 in The New Paper.



It is encouraging to note that the People's Action Party's (PAP) has promised change not just in its communication and style but also in its policies.

With the Prime Minister's assurance that every segment of the society will be taken care of, I urge him and his new team to look into the needs of those with special needs, including the mentally ill and their caregivers, the elderly lonely and autistic children and their families.

I am encouraged that Madam Halimah Yacob has been posted to the Ministry Of Community Development, Youth and Sports to serve as its Minister of State.

Understands

She cares for the mentally ill and their caregivers, and understands how difficult it is to care for someone suffering from a mental illness.

People with mental illness and their caregivers face huge challenges in their lives: stigma, lack of financial and social support, employment, housing difficulties, crisis intervention and high rate of relapses.

Yet, the support structure for these marginalised citizens is weak in Singapore.

If caregiving is to be raised to a higher level, the Government should look into the welfare of caregivers who are willing to travel the long and arduous journey.

RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO

Time to re-look the bridge to mental health and provide better support for caregivers

23rd May 2011

Major- General Chan Chun Sing

Ag Minister – MCYS

Madam Halimah Yacob

MOS- MCYS

Mr Gan Kim Yong

Health Minister

Dr Amy Khor

MOS- Health Ministry

cc: Mr Heng Chee How- Senior MOS(PMO's Office)

Dear Ministers & Ministers of States,

I refer to the above matter.

I am encouraged that Major-General Chan Chun Sing is keen to help needy families (CNA report- Sunday 22nd May 2011). Undoubtedly one group that needs much help and support are the mentally ill and their caregivers who have been neglected for decades. They definitely fall into the needy families category. The parting message from former MM Lee Kuan Yew and Emeritus Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong was that “we must not forget the older generation”.


Isolation; depression; shame; guilt; loneliness. Mental illness can bring about these emotions. Stigmatisation can cause discrimination in the workplace, unnecessary violence and inappropriate hospitalisation. Sufferers will lose self-esteem, self-worth and even hope altogether. In extreme cases, the effects of social stigma can lead to suicide.

Russian-born American writer Elie Wiesel, the 1986 Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, once said: “The opposite of love is not hate; it’s indifference.” Many people in society, even educated ones, are still indifferent to the mentally ill. A large number of people choose to remain indifferent because of fear. Their fear and lack of understanding of mental illness often leave the afflicted shunned and discriminated against. This fear, when left unchecked, will continue to obstruct moves toward a more compassionate society, in which we care more humanely for the mentally ill within our community.

At this juncture, permit me to give you a little background as to why I am making a call to all of you to provide this marginalised community with the support that we so desperately and urgently need since some of you are new on the jobs.

I am a caregiver to my wife, Doris Lau who was stricken with schizophrenia and depression at the tender age of 17, and my journey in caring for her all by myself for 37 years has been extremely difficult and exhausting, mainly because the support mechanism for citizens like us are non-existent. I have suffered burnout countless times! She has a total of 6 chronic illnesses and is seeing 7 doctors.

During our 37 years of marriage, my wife has suffered 12 nervous breakdowns. Her recent relapse last month has once again seen me suffer all alone. The Institute of Mental Health(IMH) of which I am a volunteer has a vision to be the leading mental health care provider in Asia by 2012. But how can this be realised when the support mechanism for caregivers like us is clearly lacking?



Many a time when my wife suffers a relapse of her mental illness, I am left to bear the enormous pain, hardships and suffering all alone. I have not chosen to place my wife in a nursing home or in IMH, but will continue to care and love her to my last dying breath. What is clearly lacking here in Singapore is love for another human being who, by no choice of their own, are made to suffer horrifically from the ravages of schizophrenia.

During the SARS period, I was denied access to see my wife for 30 days when she suffered a relapse of her mental illness. Yet emotional support is vital to the recovery of mental patients. Any psychiatrist in the world will testify that 50% of their recovery comes from strong emotional support. For one solid month, I suffered all alone.  It was only my Christian  faith in Jesus that helped pull me through this most difficult period.

My wife has to take 44 tablets a day - half of which is for her psychiatric condition. Medication  compliance alone is a big headache. If you disbelieve me, take a look at the list of medications provided for in the attached document. Her drugs are so complex that during the period when my wife underwent knee surgery in a restructured hospital a few years ago, the nurse almost gave her the wrong dosage of her psychiatric drugs. Fortunately, I noticed the mistake and decided that I should counter-check all the medications that she was taking 3 times a day.

This resulted in my having to make 2 trips a day for a week to counter-check the medications that was given by the nurses. I was exhausted and collapsed when I reached home on the 3rd day. Lack of sleep, deep set worries caused me to suffer burnout. Any wrong dosage - either overdose or underdose will see a relapse of her mental illness because my wife's mind is very fragile. She can so easily snap. Once that happens, my wife's full recovery will take as long as a year. My wife will have to go for another knee surgery in a few months time. Will the same mistake occur? I really don't know, but I will not take any chances.

One of the cruellest aspects of the disease (schizophrenia) is that the sufferers so easily alienate those closest to them before anyone knows that they are ill. It effectively robs them of the love and support that are vital in dealing with the devastation wrought by mental illness. Relationships are torn apart, home and families are lost, and anticipated futures evaporate. Respect is eroded and a person is often left with nothing and no one — and at a point in their lives when they are the least capable of helping themselves.

If they are fortunate, there will be at least one person who doesn't give up, one person who does not retreat in the face of a mind in chaos. But trusting that person is another matter. When delusions and hallucinations implicate their loved ones in sinister conspiracies, the mentally ill feel alone in the most fundamental of ways.

Singapore has done well in meeting the basic needs of its citizens such as a good education system, health and housing needs, and a safe and clean environment. However, there is still an urgent and dire need to facilitate the inclusion of marginalised communities that include the mentally ill, the disabled and the lonely elderly who do not have the same sense of belonging in a society that is bent on economic excellence.

Our health care system needs improvement. If you read the postings on my blog , and it includes a plea to our Prime Minister, you will find that I am not exaggerating when I say this.

Many people , even doctors do not fully understand the difficulties we face everyday in our lives. An example is noise pollution. Excessive noise , such as lift upgrading and other types of renovation will also adversely affect my wife. People with mental illness cannot take excessive noise pollution. Everytime there is noise pollution, I have to search high and low for alternative accomodation, because no day care centre in Singapore will take in people suffering from mental illness. Must we be like gypsies or nomads running from place to place when there is little or no consideration for the sick?

Bear in mind that I do support upgrading programmes, but shouldn't the HDB show more compassion and allow us to rent an affordable flat during such periods?

Everyday for me is a relentless pursuit to find the means/places that can provide a safe haven for my beloved Doris.

I have sat on the MCYS focus groups for 3 years, contributing ideas and useful suggestions. I have given up this role as a volunteer because I was unappreciated. If you read my advocacy book- “A Choice, A Voice, A cause-: One man's advocacy on social issues”, you will find very useful suggestions on how we can improve the lives of all Singaporeans. Heng Chee How has purchased 5 copies. He will bear testimony to this. I am willing to re-volunteer my services to MCYS if the government is keen to listen and accept bold and new ideas.

Despite the enormous obstacles and adversities I have faced, and will continue to face, I will continue to care and love my wife, taking a leaf from my Christian marriage vows which says, “I will love my wife in sickness and in health, for better or worse, so help me God...” for Doris is a beautiful human being, who like anyone of us, needs love, understanding and compassion.

In closing, I have taken time and effort to write to you, ministers so I hope that I will be able to secure a reply or at least an acknowledgement that my feedback is receiving attention. Often Singaporeans get upset when government agencies or even office holders do not make the effort to respond to genuine feedback. It can create the impression that the government does not care.

This 2nd “cry for help” goes onto my blog.

I am copying this letter to Mr Heng Chee How because he is one man that really cares and he has always rallied around us during moments when I needed assistance. God Bless you, Heng Chee How! Our marginalised communities need more leaders like you.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to a reply. You may now visit my website and blogs to understand and empathise with our dire straits. I am not just speaking for myself, but for the thousands out there who are suffering in silence. I want to believe that the government cares.

Sincerely,

Raymond Anthony Fernando

Website (RAY OF HOPE) : www.rayofhope.per.sg/

Blog (RAY OF LIGHT): http://rayhope8.blogspot.com/

She has schizophrenia and depression ….and I love her

I met Doris on Good Friday 1974. She was 20 years old, a young, sincere and caring woman. But three years before, she became stricken with schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia is perhaps the most distressing of all mental disorders. It is a complex illness that affects about 1 out of every 100 people during their lifetime. People with this disorder suffer from difficulties in their thought processes, which in turn lead to hallucinations, delusions, disordered thinking and unusual speech or behaviour. Its effects are confusing and often shocking to both families and friends.

Despite knowing this, I decided to take Doris as my lifelong partner. We got married in November 1974, after she turned 21. I was 23 years old then.

Many people have asked me why I willingly married Doris despite knowing of her mental illness. My answer is a simple one: “If schizophrenia is a part of the life of the woman I love, then it must surely be a part of mine too. I do not necessarily like what the illness does to her, but it is her person that I love. And that has, and will always be, the guiding, motivating force of my life.”

Since I married Doris 37 years ago, I have gone through an extremely difficult and lonely journey in seeking to provide the necessary care and help for my wife. Even our own relatives have distanced themselves from us because they refuse to share in caregiving duties. Furthermore, the social stigma that plagues those who suffer from mental illnesses make it even harder for us to seek help from society.

Let’s face it – when you or your loved one is stricken with mental illness, you are all alone in this world.

Despite the many successes Singapore have achieved, the numerous ‘number one’ accolades – the best airport, the best port facilities and so on, our country and civil society comes up dramatically short when it comes to the mental health care system.

Finding employment is one area where people who suffer from mental illness experience huge difficulties. Many patients are unable to find work; most job application forms require job seekers to declare if he/she she has mental illness, thus placing sufferers of mental illness at a clear disadvantage.

But finding employment is an important part of the recovery process, and helps patients lead a better quality of life. When recovered patients find work, it gives them a sense of worthiness and allows them to be self-reliant. They could take up jobs that are not highly pressured, such as clerical or data entry work. Jobs in the food and beverage industry, cleaning and security could also be offered to these recovered patients.

Yet the requirement for patients to state their history of mental illness would almost certainly prevent them from securing a job.

The usefulness and necessity of this declaration needs to be looked into. Its removal perhaps would go a long way to help people who have suffered from mental illness find meaningful employment. If the public sector takes the lead and removes this clause, I have every confidence that the private sector will follow suit.

Financial problems are also very common to patients and their families. While charitable foundations raise funds on a national level for various illnesses, such as kidney failure, mental illnesses do not receive similar attention and support. I myself have made several appeals for money to be raised for the mentally ill, but my pleas have gone unheard.

Yet this is a group that is in dire need of financial assistance. Patients themselves, as I’ve already mentioned, would not be able to hold down a job. But those who look after them are also heavily burdened; caring for a loved one suffering from mental illness requires dedicated care round-the-clock. As a result, many caregivers have to give up their day jobs, further increasing their financial difficulties.

The government should consider ways of alleviating such financial stresses. One possibility is to offer grants for patients who have recovered from their mental illnesses that allows them to work from home. Patients who have literary or artistic skills could be provided with grants or sponsorship that pays for the publishing of their books or paintings, which will in turn help them to earn some income from royalties. They will feel uplifted and encouraged once people show support for their work.

My wife is a good example. She has benefited emotionally from the success of her 5 books, and is motivated to continue writing. By doing so, it keeps her mind actively engaged, thus preventing dementia from also setting in.

Besides providing financial assistance to patients, the caregivers themselves will also benefit immensely from government aid. A caregiver’s allowance, for instance, would help alleviate any financial troubles they may have. Such a support scheme will help to raise the quality of caregiving, and should not be regarded as a handout.

But sadly, such grants are hard, if not impossible, to secure. Some organisations that I have approached, such as the Centre for Enabling Living, are reluctant to make the appeal on our behalf. Others such as the Lien Foundation and the Shaw Foundation have turned down my request for sponsorship after I wrote to them on an individual basis.

Such difficulties extend to other areas in our daily lives as well. When I wanted to take up a life and medical insurance policy for my wife, insurance companies turned me down. As my HDB flat underwent a lift upgrading programme, I had hoped that a day care centre could allow my wife to use their facilities, as the excessive noise could trigger a relapse of her mental illness. But my request was rejected; I was told that persons with mental illness are not allowed to use their facilities. Although the day care centre management eventually offered my wife the use of their facilities after I wrote a letter to My Paper, I had to decline as I was unable to afford their $900 monthly fee.

Many families who have relatives suffering from mental illness are finding it so hard to cope. I know this very well because I sit in support groups where caregivers often breakdown and cry uncontrollably when they have to struggle in caring for their stricken ones all alone.

Beyond the lack of material assistance, the equally-crucial element of emotional support for caregivers is also very weak. Having witnessed firsthand how my wife has suffered horrifically from schizophrenia, I personally have gone through much mental stress and anguish.

We do not have a system in place where the caregiver is given unconditional support when a loved one suffers a relapse. Each time Doris suffered from a relapse and had to be warded in the Institute of Mental Health, I go through enormous emotional pain. There was no one to comfort me during these most depressing moments. Many a time as she went through electro-convulsive therapy (or ECT) as it is commonly known, to bring her back to a stable condition, I am left alone without any emotional support.

Even the media is not very supportive. Local television for instance helps feed the prevalent social stigma against people who suffer from mental illness. Mandarin television programmes often use the phrase ‘shen jing bing’, which translates as ‘crazy’, in local Chinese dramas and this insensitive language aired during prime time is not helping to de-stigmatise mental illness in Singapore.

Little wonder why persons suffering from mental illness are always shunned and isolated. And even though I have raised this issue, such as by writing to a newspaper, I still hear this remark being used frequently on television. There needs to be greater public sensitivity to the emotional damage such phrases can do to people whose lives are already greatly strained by mental illnesses.

Sincerely,

Raymond Anthony Fernando

Questions on support mechanism for caregivers of the mentally ill always go unanswered: A plea to Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong

Our Prime Minister has assured all Singaporeans that every segment of our society will be taken care of. But I am still not convinced, given the lack of support that people with mental illness and their caregivers face everyday in their lives.

As a run up to the General Elections 2011, The New Paper ran a series of interviews with the Cabinet Ministers. Readers were invited to query the Cabinet Ministers on a whole range of issues affecting their lives. This was for the series, “ASK THE MINISTER”. More than 2 weeks ago, I posed a question to the MCYS Minister, Dr Vivian Balakrishnan through The New Paper on the support system which caregivers like myself desperately need.

This was my question to Dr Vivian Balakrishnan:

“People with mental illness and their caregivers face huge challenges in their lives: stigma, financial and social support, employability, housing difficulties, crisis intervention and high rate of relapses. Yet the support structure for these marginalized citizens here in Singapore is very weak. Caregivers who are taking care of their loved ones stricken with mental illness often suffer burnout, as I have. What plans do you have to improve the support mechanism for caregivers of the mentally ill so that they can lead a much easier life, given that we make a lot of sacrifices?”

The journalist, one Ms Tay Shian received it and called me to confirm my age & some other details. As expected, my question went unplublished and unanswered. Even the more than the 100 letters that I have written to the press pleading for support for the mentally ill and their caregivers go unanswered. The MCYS Minister answered all other questions, but conveniently chose not to address mine. Why is this so?

Our suicide rates have gone up, and will continue to go up. If you read today's New Paper, you will read yet another report of how a lady wanted to commit suicide because of a failed relationship.

In yesterday's Straits Times Forum Page (ST, Wed 4th May 2011), a caregiver, Madam J Bhaskaran is disturbed by the lack of support in securing help for her stricken relative. Her letter, “In a bind over care for mentally disabled sibling”, strikes a chord with me.

I am at wits end trying to secure support for my beloved wife, Doris whom I love so dearly. Though the journey in taking care of her all by myself is extremely arduous and painful, I have not chosen to given up on her. But it will make my journey so much easier if the Singapore Government gives us the vital support that we so badly need.

In Parliament, a few months ago, Health Minister Khaw Boon Wan replied to a suggestion by an MP - I believe it was Assoc Prof Fatimah Lateef, with regards to a caregivers allowance for people like us. I did in fact raise this issue to the press prior to what the MP suggested. My suggestion, as usual went unanswered. The replied given by Mr Khaw in Parliament to MP Assoc Prof Fatimah Lateef's suggestion was highly insensitive and very hurtful. He said that “giving a caregivers allowance will cheapen the sacrifices caregivers make.”

So, I would ask the Health Minister in what way does giving a caregiver allowance cheapen the caregiver journey? I, like many other caregivers, have made huge sacrifices in looking after our stricken ones. I gave my $2,400 job 9 years ago so that I can give love and care to my wife 24/7. She has 7 chronic illnesses and is at fall risks because of her advanced arthritis condition. In any event, providing such an allowance will raise caregiving to a higher level because many caregivers cannot take the stress of caring for their stricken ones and they choose to place them in homes or put them in IMH. So, let's be sensitive to the feelings of caregivers like us who are prepared to walk the journey despite facing huge adversities in our lonely lives.

My wife who has battled schizophrenia for 40 years has suffered a serious relapse of her mental illness and I am made to suffer all alone. The relapse was triggered by the immense pain she has been enduring from her advanced arthritis condition and due to the lack of support that she so badly needs. The costs is very high: emotional, physical and financial. This is now her 12th relapse.

Doris has multiple chronic illnesses and you can read about it further on my blog. One person that really cared for her is her psychiatrist, Dr Eu, Senior Consultant at IMH. He went out of his way and made special arrangements to see my wife - at the 11th hour. Dr Eu felt my pain as he saw me break down and try to hide my tears. He came out of his clinic and helped me to walk my wife into his room because my wife was feeling giddy and her knees are weak. I was deeply touched by his compassion for another human being.

Dr Eu is trying her on a new drug - “QUETIAPINE 100MG”. Will it work? I really don't know. But I hope so, otherwise hospitalization is inevitable. My wife is extremely frightened and cannot be left alone until she is stabilized. She is like a frightened rabbit. It is extremely pitiful to see her in that condition. Does the Singapore Government understand what I am, and have gone through, bearing in mind that for 37 years I have travelled this journey all alone?

I have seen and read reports of Cabinet Ministers crying publicly: Lim Boon Heng, Lim Swee Say, and most recently, Khaw Boon Wan. But do you all understand that for 37 years I have on so many occasions shed tears and cried myself to sleep as I see my wife suffer horrifically from the ravages of schizophrenia?

I hope that my candid and true life story will inspire, motivate and touch you, because if it does not, than I don't know what will. To build a first class Singapore Government, surely our marginalised communities must find a place in our society.

And as Our Archbishop, Nicholas Chia rightly points out in his pastoral letter to Catholics on the coming GE, “ We must also ensure that the poor, the elderly and the marginalised in our society are cared for .”

Thank you.


Sincerely,


Raymond Anthony Fernando

Patient with disabilities denied proper medical treatment; sole caregiver suffering burnout

30th April 2011
Introduction

In a rally speech on Friday night - 29th April 2011, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong assured all Singaporeans that the government will take care of all Singaporeans, including the low- and middle income groups.

The Prime Minister and his government has also given the assurance, many times, that no Singaporean will be denied proper medical treatment even if they cannot pay for it. But my wife, Doris Lau Siew Lang was denied proper medical treatment at a restructured hospital when she so badly and urgently needed it.

I would like to share this recent heart-breaking incident about my wife as the pain in my heart is unbearable and I am suffering all alone. I can no longer remain silent and the only way to ease my suffering is to write about it. Hopefully, it will touch some peoples' hearts (including the Govt.) and they will come forward and help in whatever way they can so I can lead an easier life in taking care of my beloved wife whom I love dearly. For I have not chosen to give up on my wife even though my 37 years journey in caring for her has been extremely arduous.

Background of my wife's condition

Doris suffers from several chronic illnesses that includes schizophrenia & depression, advanced arthritis, incontinence, stomach polyps, diabetes & high cholesterol. In addition she has to see a heart specialist and an eye doctor. Doris is seeing seven doctors in all. This month alone I had to bring her for 7 medical appointments at hospitals & clinics. Which caregiver would not suffer burnout? Which patient who has to take 45 tablets a day to manage her multiple illnesses wouldn't wear out? Every time Doris has to go for her arthritis treatment, we have spend half a day at the hospital because the results for her blood tests at the lab takes 3 sold hours. I can never understand why this is so. Can't the hospital be more efficient?

Support system for caregivers

It has been an extremely difficult journey for me to care for my wife all alone because our caregivers support system is very weak. Many a time when Doris suffers a relapse, I have to bear the tremendous emotional pain all alone.

My wife and I are Catholics, but we cannnot get the support from our very own Catholic organizations. I have approached the Catholic Welfare Services(CWS) to help us(meals & accommodation) but they say they can't do anything. I asked the CWS to find me a place where I can place my wife in situations where the environment is not conducive(noise pollution) to her mental state; such as when there is upgrading in our estates, be it for the Lift Upgrading Programme(LUP) or Home Improvement Programme (HIP). Or in cases when I have to sell my books and leave her all alone at home. Doris is at fall risks because of her severe arthritis condition. But the CWS have told me to call up all the 30 Catholic churches to find out if there are any places in their churches that can accommodate her. No day care centre in Singapore will take in my wife- even for a few hours. It's been exhausting trying to secure proper cooked meals & support for my wife. For day care centres visits- Rejected. The reason: People with mental illness cannot go to their centres. Is MCYS doing anything about this?

Multiple chronic illnesses due to cheaper drugs

My wife's advance arthritis condition is causing her immense pain and misery, leaving her vulnerable to falling into relapses of schizophrenia and depression – a chronic illness which she has battled for 40 years. Every arthritis drug that is being tested on her is causing more and more side effects.

The specialist at a restructured hospital treating her for her advance arthritis condition has suggested that my wife try out another type of injection that might help to reduce the inflammation and pain of her advance arthritis condition: The Intramuscular Gold Injection. But I am not keen to allow my wife to go on this recommended injection as the side effects are many including itchy skin rashes, ulcers in the mouth and blood and protein in her urine – to name a few.

The only solution is to do another Total Knee Replacement, which is going to cost me $8,000 a 50% rise from $4,000 previously. Doris needs cataract operations (both eyes). Each operation (per eye) is going to cost me $800- $1,000- an increase of another 50%- previously $400 per eye. Little wonder that Singaporeans have valid reasons about rising medical costs.

Go to the A& E for treatment if arthritis pain is unbearable Attempts to reach out to the specialist during periods when my wife is in severe pain of her arthritis is not possible because the doctor has suggested that I bring my wife to the A & E department if my wife cannot bear the pain. What is the point of bringing her to the A&E Department when we have to end up waiting hours on ends, pay $90 and then be told to go back to to see the specialist on another given date? In what way does this solve the problem? Why add more stress on my wife when she is on heavy medication? Moreover the Ministry of Health is discouraging people from visiting the A & E Department. The specialists there are unwilling to see my wife even though Doris suffers unbearable pain because of the hospital's workload. To make matters worse the Patient Services staff who is handling my feedback became defensive and told me that if necessary the A& E doctors can ward my wife in the hospital. Why would I want my wife to be hospitalised when she already has spent a large part of her life in hospital – Warded IMH 11 times in IMH times during our 37 years marriage?

Unemployed Caregiver foots out $1,000

I could not bear to see my wife in pain so I hade no choice but to bring Doris to see a surgeon in a private clinic last week. He gave Doris a Synvisc injection that costs $1,000, but it will reduce her pain and misery for several months. To see the specialist at the restructured hospital for this same type of injection would mean that I would have to wait and wait. But this Synvisc injection would have only cost me about $400 if Doris was given the jab at the restructured hospital. Mind you, I don't have a full-time job. Nobody knows the suffering and hardships that caregivers like us go through to see their stricken ones suffering. For the last few nights, I cry myself to sleep.

Onslaught of mental illness- schizophrenia 

My wife was denied proper and immediate attention because of system problems in the hospital and because doctors there do not want to do a little extra work. The Synsvic injection apparently came too late. As a result Doris is now falling into a serious relapse of schizophrenia. It is extremely pitiful to see her suffer the ravages of schizophrenia. It is only a matter of time because she is hospitalised and when that happens, Doris will have to undergo ECT(Electric Convulsive Therapy). ECT is mild current applied to the brain. Have you seen a patient go through ECT?  I have. It will tear your heart & mind apart.

Symptoms of Doris' relapse of schizophrenia: Doris is extremely frightened, appears lost, cannot concentrate, very depressed, has loss of appetite,fearful, nervous, severely constipated (connected to the mind), and has difficulty sleeping.

If Doris has to be warded in IMH, it will be the 12th time and it is going to cost me at least $5,000. Needless to say the costs for me is very high: emotional , physical & financial. As her caregiver, I will have to suffer all alone for one solid year when she relapses.

To deprive a mentally ill patient who is struggling with a whole range of chronic illnesses of the support that she urgently needs, is sinful and inhuman.

For sure, love is the most beautiful virtue in the world. But love can also be very painful when I see my beloved Doris suffer so much, and I become helpless from the lack of support, the prejudices she faces because of her schizophrenia and the  poor welfare for her. But I know for sure when Doris passes on and goes to heaven, the Lord will always protect her and give her relentless love. In heaven, her life will not be compromised because of multiple chronic illnesses and she will never face any discimination and prejudice.

During the 70s' when my wife had a working career, she did a lot of charity & social work, despite being stricken with schizophrenia and depression at the tender age of 17. Doris visited the homes for the aged, spent time with old folks, the handicapped and comforted all these citizens. I accompanied my wife and also took part in these actvities- encouraged by the love that my wife gave to these less fortunate citizens. As a secretary, she contributed much to the economy. 

For my part, influenced by my wife's caring nature, I have been vounteering my services to IMH regularly. Recently I was also requested by the Community Psychiatry Dept. of IMH to edit some stories written by recovered patients for a publication. I readily agreed despite having to look after Doris 24/7.

Now when we need support, this is how we are treated.

To my readers, please pray for Doris. She is a beautiful human being and does not deserve to be treated in this manner. No human being does. And Doris needs friends who can care for her and give her love because we are living in a very unkind society! A place in which the mentally ill have no place in our society. God Bless!

Sincerely,

RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO
Husband & Sole Caregiver To Doris Lau Siew Lang

Raymond's letter to The New Paper: Compassion for dying child shows kampung spirit

Last week, a mother and child from China fell from their Bukit Batok flat. This is yet another tragedy that's so heart-wrenching. Read my response to that tragic incident in The New Paper.

Raymond's letter to The New Paper: Compassion for dying child shows kampung spirit


This letter was published today- Friday 22 April 2011, in The New Paper.

I refer to the report, “He watches as 9-year-old slowly fades away” (The New Paper, April 16).

While I am deeply saddened by the tragic loss of two lives through yet another tragedy, I am encouraged by the public spiritedness demonstrated by Mr Phil Devlin.

This Singaporean permanent resident from Australia went out of his way to try to save the life of the 9-year-old girl and comfort her.

It provides a classic example of how the kampung spirit can be revived here.

Mr Devlin proves that those from outside Singapore can not only contribute to the economic growth of this country, but can also play an equally important role in serving the needs of our people.

Though the child did not survive the fall, Mr Devlin's compassion and readiness to help another human being is notable. He should be commended by the authorities.

Such a commendation will go a long way in promoting a sense of caring and mutual concern for one another in our neighbourhoods.

If such virtues can infect everyone in our society, then we may see fewer such tragedies.

The Government, for its part, should provide a better support system for people who are unable to cope with the stresses of life.

Many people either just don't know where to go for help or are unwillingly to seek assistance.

Hence the need to reach out to these vulnerable groups.

RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO

Talented psychiatric patients : Set up museum space for their work

My letter on the above subject was published in The New Paper today- Friday 25 March 2011, page 20.


I refer to the report, “He paints to save his mind” (The New Paper, March 20).

Some of our psychiatric patients are very artistic - as with the case of Mr Sim, a long-staying patient of the Institute of Mental Health (IMH).

I have also seen how a volunteer art therapist at the Singapore Association for Mental Health (SAMH) has trained his clients to excel in art - paintings, pottery and other types of artwork. The paintings are impressive.

Although IMH and SAMH has been supportive in giving their clients a chance to excel in art, we could also explore other opportunities and platforms for them to gain greater exposure.

Some of the artistic talents of these clients are displayed periodically at public forums and other related events.

After these events are over, people tend to forget that there are indeed such patients who can excel in life.

Government agencies can play an important role in helping to destigmatise mental illness.

To this end, I suggest that our national museum allocate a space within their premises that can permanently display the artistic talents of creative psychiatric patients?

This proposed sponsored art gallery will not only allow these patients to earn a decent living, but will send a powerful message - mental illness can be treated.

SAMH and IMH should also explore collaboration between their clients and patients or ex-patients who write poetry.

Then produce a book, Poetic Tapestry that combines colourful paintings matched with creative poems.

The sponsored book can then be sold and the proceeds divided among the clients who created the book and SAMH or IMH.

RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO