Raymond's letter to the New paper: We don't often see people showing care & compassion for mentally ill

My letter on the above matter was published the New Paper today, Saturday 27th Feb 2010.

I refer to the report, “ I don't blame mum, I blame myself” (The New Paper, 25 Feb).

I am glad that Justice Kan Ting Chui has shown compassion in sentencing Madam Goh Hai Eng to only 5 years jail.

I have every confidence that with daily medication in prison, Goh will recover and can be reunited with her family under happier circumstances after she has served her term in jail. Perhaps with good behaviour, she can be released earlier.

Goh's lawyers, Mr Subas Anandan and Mr Sundil Sudheesan who provided legal services to her for free are truly generous.

We don't often see citizens showing care and concern for the mentally ill.

Like Goh, many psychiatric patients and their caregivers are plagued with financial woes. It is crucial for the Government to raise funds for this group of citizens on a national level.

The yellow ribbon project has been highly succesful because there is very strong political support at ministerial level.

I urge the Government to understand the hardship that sufferers of mental illness and their families continue to face in their daily lives.

Do not neglect us for we are also human beings who, like anyone else, need love, understanding and support.

Certaintly, with better support from the Government, more such tragedies can be avoided.

Family members for their part must ensure that their stricken ones do not miss out on their medical appointments and medications.

People with mental illness just need one person to love them and with medication, they will recover- period. My wife who has schizophrenia is a case in point.

With the Mental Capcity Act going into operation on 1st Mar, I encourage patients and their caregivers to have a look at the Lasting Power Of Attorney (LAP) as it helps to give better protection for anyone who becomes mentally incapacitated.

RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO

A beautiful & unforgettable dining experience, courtesy of Rose Boon & her charismatic group

“Friends are like street lights along the road, they don't make the distance any shorter but they light up the path and make the walk worthwhile!”

On Tuesday 23rd February 2010, Rose Boon, her sister, Frances and friends Gwen & Jan treated my wife, Doris & I to a sumptuous Lunar New Year Dinner at the Singapore Island Country Club. Rose and her team are members of the charismatic group from the Church of St Ignatius. Rose has always been very supportive to both Doris and I and these thoughtful gestures certainly have helped in my wife's recovery from schizophrenia. Indeed the love and kindness that she has displayed for several years will live in our hearts forever.

This is a strange cpoincidence: Some 30 years ago, during my public relations stint in broadcasting, I was one of the three staff who hosted a lunch for a former VVIP at this prestigious club. And now 30 years later, I sat there tucking in on the delicious dishes, and beautiful memories came streaming back. I never dreamt that I would one day come back to this place and enjoy the lovely ambience and GREAT food, with GREAT fellowship. I was actually a rose among the thorns or should I say a torn among the pretty roses.

Doris loves cooked lobsters, but because we cannot afford this dish, we have opted not to buy it. But through the kindness of the Lord who is the “Listener to every conversation”, Doris was able to enjoy lobsters that were flown in from Boston. This was made possible by Rose and company. The fellowship that night was simply fantastic and when we reached home at 8.45pm Doris slept like a baby – contented, happy, pleased to know that wonderful Catholics sent by the Lord made her Lunar New Year in 2010 so very special. My wife felt so loved and even though her family members do not see the need to spend a few minutes to visit or talk to her, God sent His lovely children in the form of these kind-hearted charismatic members to more than make up for the love that is clearly lacking in my wife's family.

Praise the Lord for you have shown us the Light at the end of the Dark Tunnel!

Sincerely,

Raymond Anthony Fernando

myLovematters Magazine

myLovematters Magazine


Dear friends,

myLovematters is a magazine in full colour that focuses on healthy relationship, people doing charity work and how LOVE plays a key role in helping all of us to stay committed to our loved ones. My journey in caring for my wife, Doris is highlighted in a 3-page article in the concept issue that just came out in mid-February 2010. It is a lovely magazine and a must-read for all of us who want to build healthy relationships. If any of you are interested to get a copy do contact me(I'm the part-time Freelance Subscription Manager). My email adress is; rafcutie@singnet.com.sg
The cost of one year's subscription (4 issues per year) is $22 (postage included) . Get a glimpse of this magazine at this website: http://www.mylovematters.net/

Raymond Anthony Fernando

CNA's TV Talking Point on Sunday 21st Feb 2010- The Mental Capacity Act

This Sunday, 21st Feb 2010 at 10.10pm, ChannelNewsAsia will broadcast the popular TV talk show, “Talking Point”. The topic for this Sunday will be about the Mental Capacity Act, which comes into operation on 1st March 2010.

Debra Soon, the host of this programme will have a panel discussion with 3 guests who include:

(A) Lawyer Ms Kuah Boon Theng

(B) Ex: Director of Rainbow Centre, Ms June Tham

(c ) Caregiver Raymond Anthony Fernando


This will be my 6th TV appearance discussing mental illness on National TV. I was told that this programme can also be viewed on the internet and in countries where CNA's programmes are beamed.

Do look out for this programme as it is very insightful!

Sincerely,

Raymond Anthony Fernando

Love conquers all

Having witnessed how my parent's marriage broke down due to my father's womanising ways, I made a vow to myself 35 years ago: The woman I marry, whoever she is, I will love forever. And I would love and care for her in sickness and in health, for better or for worse.

Little did I realise that the day I met my wife, Doris Lau Siew Lang, I would have to fulfill that promise to the letter. Indeed this was the woman that would change my life – dramatically.

Unlike the many girls that I dated, Doris was very down-to-earth. We met as pen pals.

I found her to be sincere and caring. This was the main reason why I accepted her as my wife. As our relationship grew, Doris revealed to me her closely guarded secret: She was stricken with schizophrenia at the tender age of 17. Many people find it hard to believe that I married Doris despite knowing that she has one of the most distressing mental disorders.

But strange as it may sound, in caring for Doris for more than three decades, I have grown to love her more and more each day. I have seen this illness ravage more than half her life and the journey, though very difficult, can be rewarding when I see her enjoy life to the fullest. With my undying love for Doris, she has recovered from her illness and is today, the author of 5 books.

As I celebrate my 60th birthday this Valentine's Day, Doris and I will reflect on the beautiful memories we shared together for 35 years as husband and wife. Certainly, Love conquers all.

RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO

75th Elvis Presley's Anniversary Celebrations

The 75th Elvis Presley's Anniversary Celebrations was organised by the First Singapore Elvis Presley Fan Club at Hotel Royal on Sat 6th Feb 2010. Guest artist, Harvey Mcfadden, Elvis impersonator from the USA performed at this event.

Junk Cruise

Our church (Church of the Holy Spirit) organised a junk cruise for us in July 2009.