Home help services unsatisfactory
This letter was published in the New Paper on Friday 20 November 2009, page 24.
I am disappointed with the reply given by the Ministry of Manpower, “Impractical for maids to commute daily” (The New Paper, 19 Nov).
Caregivers who make every effort to look after their elderly sick should be commended and given all the support they need.
Mr David Soh Poh Huat's suggestion “Allow trained part-time caregivers” (The New Paper, 14 Nov) deserves full consideration.
It is easy to shoot down an idea, but it takes effort to study and implement bold , even radical ideas.
In the case of caring for the mentally ill, the journey is extremely tough, so much so that many give up and either leave their stricken ones to fend for themselves or place them in hospitals or homes.
Even though my wife has suffered horrifically from schizophrenia, depression and 4 other chronic illnesses, I have not chosen to give up on her for 35 years. But ours is an isolated and lonely journey.
Allowing part-time maids for caregivers will give us some respite, which is something that we desperately need, especially if we make every effort to stay loyal to our stricken ones.
Moreover with the rising cost of living in Singapore, part-time maids will allow family members to engage in some part-time work and help with household expenses.
I have tried the home help services and found them unsatisfactory.
I found the meals unpalatable and the cost of transport services for medical appointments were not easy to bear.
RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
MDJunction.com - People helping people
MDJunction.com - Center for Online Support Groups
MDJunction is home to more than 630 Online Support Groups each dedicated to one health challenge - a place where thousands of patients meet every day to discuss their feelings, questions and hopes with like minded friends.
It is a proven way to find information, comfort, support and friendship with people who are in your spot and understand you best.
I have joined the schizophrenia support group given my 35 years' experience in caring for my beloved wife, Doris. I find it useful and comforting knowing that we(my wife & I) are not alone in our journey .
Check out their nice website: http://www.mdjunction.com/
Sincerely,
Raymond Anthony Fernando
MDJunction is home to more than 630 Online Support Groups each dedicated to one health challenge - a place where thousands of patients meet every day to discuss their feelings, questions and hopes with like minded friends.
It is a proven way to find information, comfort, support and friendship with people who are in your spot and understand you best.
I have joined the schizophrenia support group given my 35 years' experience in caring for my beloved wife, Doris. I find it useful and comforting knowing that we(my wife & I) are not alone in our journey .
Check out their nice website: http://www.mdjunction.com/
Sincerely,
Raymond Anthony Fernando
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Raymond's letter to the Press: Elder Abuse: Caregivers need compassion and support
My letter to the New Paper was published today, Wednesday, 4th November 2009, page 21
I refer to the article, “Most abuse cases by victims' children” (The New Paper, 22 Oct).
I am glad that Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports Vivian Balakrishan has raised the issue of elder abuse, as it is becoming a worrying trend here in Singapore.
Taking care of the mentally ill and those with multiple chronic illnesses is extremely stressful, and can bring out the best or the worse in people.
Family conflicts are bound to set in when relatives refuse to share in caregiving. I am trapped in this unfortunate circumstance.
As a sole caregiver to my wife who has schizophrenia, arthritis and three other chronic illnesses, I have suffered burnout countless times. My 34-year journey in caring for my wife all by myself is now affecting my health and I am experiencing severe nerve and eye problems.
It is a daily routine for me to prepare 41 tablets for my wife's multiple illnesses. I also have to do all the household chores. Who will see to my wife's needs if my health suffers?
The strain of bringing my wife for up to four medical appointments in a month is wearing me out. I have never had any sort of respite.
The harsh reality is that when you are looking after a family member with a serious mental disorder such as schizophrenia, you all all alone in this world.
I have to be with my wife 24 hours of the day because her arthritis condition puts her at risk of falling.
It is also very costly for me to look after her with no support.
In the UK I am told that people in our predicament get a lot of support. Not only is a caregiver allowance given, it seems the authorities even allow the caregivers to enjoy a two-week holiday whilst their sick loved ones are also put up at a holiday home.
I appeal to the Government to understand our plight and provide us with the support that we so badly need.
Caregivers do not need sympathy and pity. What they need is compassion and support.
RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO
I refer to the article, “Most abuse cases by victims' children” (The New Paper, 22 Oct).
I am glad that Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports Vivian Balakrishan has raised the issue of elder abuse, as it is becoming a worrying trend here in Singapore.
Taking care of the mentally ill and those with multiple chronic illnesses is extremely stressful, and can bring out the best or the worse in people.
Family conflicts are bound to set in when relatives refuse to share in caregiving. I am trapped in this unfortunate circumstance.
As a sole caregiver to my wife who has schizophrenia, arthritis and three other chronic illnesses, I have suffered burnout countless times. My 34-year journey in caring for my wife all by myself is now affecting my health and I am experiencing severe nerve and eye problems.
It is a daily routine for me to prepare 41 tablets for my wife's multiple illnesses. I also have to do all the household chores. Who will see to my wife's needs if my health suffers?
The strain of bringing my wife for up to four medical appointments in a month is wearing me out. I have never had any sort of respite.
The harsh reality is that when you are looking after a family member with a serious mental disorder such as schizophrenia, you all all alone in this world.
I have to be with my wife 24 hours of the day because her arthritis condition puts her at risk of falling.
It is also very costly for me to look after her with no support.
In the UK I am told that people in our predicament get a lot of support. Not only is a caregiver allowance given, it seems the authorities even allow the caregivers to enjoy a two-week holiday whilst their sick loved ones are also put up at a holiday home.
I appeal to the Government to understand our plight and provide us with the support that we so badly need.
Caregivers do not need sympathy and pity. What they need is compassion and support.
RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Our Latest Book
The perfect gift for Christmas & the New Year:The Glass Slippers and other stories for children is a delightful collection of short stories written for children and parents to read together. This book, which comes in full colour, has a collection of 10 adventure stories that will keep children on the edge of their seats. There is a local flavour that is blended in some of these tales. Each story is matched with a poem and a drawing that captures the theme of the story. Children between the ages of 5 to 12 will get all excited as they read about, “The Glass slippers”, “The girl who loved tomatoes”, “Celia meets Robin Hood”, “Send in the clown”, “Shipwrecked” and many more.
This book, jointly written by Raymond Anthony Fernando & his wife, Doris Lau Siew Lang costs $18 and makes a perfect gift for Christmas or the New Year! It is expected to be released in December 2009 or early 2010.
To order a copy/copies of this book, send your details to Raymond at his email address at rafcutie@singnet.com.sg
There will be a postage fee of $2 per book if the book is mailed to the reader. Don't wait , place your order early to avoid disappointment!
Here are two (2) illustrations of the many drawings that will appear in the book. Please note that these illustrations are copyrighted to the authors and their artist.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Senior citizens with mental illness
Raymond's letter to the press: : Provide a support network & revive the kampung spirit
I refer to the report, “Terrified women run away when she appears ” (The New Paper, 17 Oct).
Once again, an elderly citizen who lives in isolation and displays signs of bizarre behaviour has ended up in depressing circumstances.
The risk factors for depression and other mental illnesses in the elderly include living alone and having to struggle with bereavement. The old woman who caned women in shorts is probably in this predicament.
We need to reach out to the lonely elderly and those who have chronic illnesses as they are likely to fall into depression when they feel that nobody cares for them.
To enable our seniors to lead more meaningful lives, the Government could put in place a network that can rprovide ongoing support for this group of citizens.
For example, when an elderly citizen passes on, then the Registry of Births and Deaths can tie-up with a relevant government agency to check if any family member is left to live alone.
If this is the case, then the respective Member of Parliament (MP) and his grassroots leaders of his constituency should pay a home visit to this person and offer any assistance that is needed.
The Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports should revive the Kampung spirit that was very much alive the '50s' and '60s'.
In those days, one can be assured of a helping hand and even the sharing of a bowl of rice, ikan bilis and sambal belachan.
The MPs and mayors should also make sporadic visits to our lonely elderly so that they feel cared for.
RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO
I refer to the report, “Terrified women run away when she appears ” (The New Paper, 17 Oct).
Once again, an elderly citizen who lives in isolation and displays signs of bizarre behaviour has ended up in depressing circumstances.
The risk factors for depression and other mental illnesses in the elderly include living alone and having to struggle with bereavement. The old woman who caned women in shorts is probably in this predicament.
We need to reach out to the lonely elderly and those who have chronic illnesses as they are likely to fall into depression when they feel that nobody cares for them.
To enable our seniors to lead more meaningful lives, the Government could put in place a network that can rprovide ongoing support for this group of citizens.
For example, when an elderly citizen passes on, then the Registry of Births and Deaths can tie-up with a relevant government agency to check if any family member is left to live alone.
If this is the case, then the respective Member of Parliament (MP) and his grassroots leaders of his constituency should pay a home visit to this person and offer any assistance that is needed.
The Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports should revive the Kampung spirit that was very much alive the '50s' and '60s'.
In those days, one can be assured of a helping hand and even the sharing of a bowl of rice, ikan bilis and sambal belachan.
The MPs and mayors should also make sporadic visits to our lonely elderly so that they feel cared for.
RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Raymond's letter to the press on noise pollution
Raymond's letter to the Press: Forced to move due to noise pollution
Why no control on noise levels?
My letter to the New Paper was published, today, Saturday 17 October 2009, Page 27.
RECENTLY, my wife and I had to leave our flat to find alternative accommodation.
This is because of the noise pollution coming simultaneously from the lift upgrading programme, the building of a child care centre on our void deck, the re-surfacing of the road in front of our block and the noise generated from the chanting of prayers and beating of drums during the Mooncake Festival that went on continuously for a week from morning to 11pm every night.
Why is all this allowed?
How can one have any peace of mind with all this noise pollution?
Patients with mental illness will relapse if they are hounded by excessive noise.
It happened to my wife in 2006.
Also, due to my wife's arthritis that leaves her mobility impaired, I have no choice but to take taxis to ferry her wherever she goes. The 35 per cent surcharge is eating holes in my pockets as I do not have a fulltime job.
I appeal to the authorities to show some compassion for those with diablities.
RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO
Why no control on noise levels?
My letter to the New Paper was published, today, Saturday 17 October 2009, Page 27.
RECENTLY, my wife and I had to leave our flat to find alternative accommodation.
This is because of the noise pollution coming simultaneously from the lift upgrading programme, the building of a child care centre on our void deck, the re-surfacing of the road in front of our block and the noise generated from the chanting of prayers and beating of drums during the Mooncake Festival that went on continuously for a week from morning to 11pm every night.
Why is all this allowed?
How can one have any peace of mind with all this noise pollution?
Patients with mental illness will relapse if they are hounded by excessive noise.
It happened to my wife in 2006.
Also, due to my wife's arthritis that leaves her mobility impaired, I have no choice but to take taxis to ferry her wherever she goes. The 35 per cent surcharge is eating holes in my pockets as I do not have a fulltime job.
I appeal to the authorities to show some compassion for those with diablities.
RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO
Saturday, October 3, 2009
SHE CAN WRITE A BOOK: Raymond's letter to the New Paper on Ris Low
This letter was published on Saturday 3 October 2009, Page 27
I refer to the report, “More legal woes for Ris?” (The New Paper, 30 Sept).
I am deeply saddened over the manner in which beauty queen Ris Low has been heavily criticised.
Although she has made mistakes in her life, Ris performed well during the run-up to the finals of the Miss Singapore World pageant.
For someone struggling with a bipolar condition or depression, Ris has, in my opinion, performed exceptionally well. She was determined to succeed and she was well behaved.
More importantly, Ris wanted to turn her life around. But she was condenmed so much that she was pressured to give up the crown.
What I find disturbing is this whole episode is that we seem to be breeding a society where people find it so hard to forgive.
The Government has been appealing to the public to give ex-prisoners a second chance in life. Yet, Ris Low was not given a chance when her conviction for a credit card fraud came to light.
Every one of us makes mistakes in life. Rather than put her down we should help Ris rebuild her life bearing in mind what Oprah Winfrey once said: “Lots of people want to ride with you in the Limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the Limo breaks down.”
For a start, I urge companies to sponsor Ris for diction and public speaking courses, so that she will be well positioned to make a sterling comeback.
I have struggled with depression for several years and my wife is recovering from schizophrenia.
But through the wonderful support of many kind-hearted people who walk alongside us, we have charted new directions in life and found our means of living through writing.
Someday, Ris, write your own novel and speak of your own struggles in life.
Equipped with good public speaking skills, you too will be able to chart new directions in life. Who knows, your book might just become a bestseller.
You may have lost the Miss Singapore crown, but you will always be a winner in my eyes.
RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO
I refer to the report, “More legal woes for Ris?” (The New Paper, 30 Sept).
I am deeply saddened over the manner in which beauty queen Ris Low has been heavily criticised.
Although she has made mistakes in her life, Ris performed well during the run-up to the finals of the Miss Singapore World pageant.
For someone struggling with a bipolar condition or depression, Ris has, in my opinion, performed exceptionally well. She was determined to succeed and she was well behaved.
More importantly, Ris wanted to turn her life around. But she was condenmed so much that she was pressured to give up the crown.
What I find disturbing is this whole episode is that we seem to be breeding a society where people find it so hard to forgive.
The Government has been appealing to the public to give ex-prisoners a second chance in life. Yet, Ris Low was not given a chance when her conviction for a credit card fraud came to light.
Every one of us makes mistakes in life. Rather than put her down we should help Ris rebuild her life bearing in mind what Oprah Winfrey once said: “Lots of people want to ride with you in the Limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the Limo breaks down.”
For a start, I urge companies to sponsor Ris for diction and public speaking courses, so that she will be well positioned to make a sterling comeback.
I have struggled with depression for several years and my wife is recovering from schizophrenia.
But through the wonderful support of many kind-hearted people who walk alongside us, we have charted new directions in life and found our means of living through writing.
Someday, Ris, write your own novel and speak of your own struggles in life.
Equipped with good public speaking skills, you too will be able to chart new directions in life. Who knows, your book might just become a bestseller.
You may have lost the Miss Singapore crown, but you will always be a winner in my eyes.
RAYMOND ANTHONY FERNANDO
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